As winter break slowly draws to a close, I look back on it and realized I have accomplished almost exactly none of the things I wanted to accomplish. What I did end up doing was struggling with getting PC games to play on a Mac, and then struggling even further with Portal’s fan-made “unofficial prelude”. That game is completely the opposite of Portal. Difficult. Frustrating. But, speaking as a proud member of its extremely tiny target audience, addicting and fun.

Unlike Portal, the game design is atrocious. Often you’ll walk into a chamber to encounter an object or setup that you’ve never seen before, and it’s only trial and error (and a lot of quicksaves) that will get you to the end of each level. Portal trains the player; Portal: Prelude dumps the player in an unfamiliar situation and kills him if he takes one step out of line.


Portal has officially warranted more replays than most other games I own. You might say I like the game, and you might be right. However, I don’t like it quite this much:

From an article on

Back in May, Kotaku reader Robin emailed us to let us know about the Final Fantasy bar he and some friends hosted at Scrollbar in ITU of Copenhagen. Now they’ve moved on to Portal.

As with the Final Fantasy bar, the Scrollbar has quite a collection of themed drinks for the game of choice. My favorite of the bunch is the GLADOS, a wicked concoction that includes absinthe and Sourz Apple.

The Portal Bar kicked off in November, with the most popular drinks being the Sentry Gun and the Teleportation shot.

…oh dear God.

In other, less alcoholic news, it’s been too long since I took on a stupid project that’s doomed to not work. Now that I have a month off from school, it seems like the perfect time to pick something to do and fail spectacularly at it.

If you consider the Companion Cube to be female, this is like lesbian porn!


There’s no sense denying it; several years late, I have still managed to join the ranks of players and bloggers who consider Portal to be one of the best video games ever. Yes, this means I cannot think for myself and my brain is now the property of the media. Deal with it.

However, this post isn’t about how Portal is mind-fuckingly good. We all know that. If you don’t know that by now, you must be a hopelessly underinformed and sheltered individual (i.e. me until Octoberish). What this post is about, is how to make a good game.

I look forward to people finding this page in the near future and shooting me down.

Without further ado, here comes the list.