pirates

Happy New Year, everybody! Although today’s the happiest for Zune owners, whose music players have locked up as of the 31st due to Microsoft’s inability to predict leap years. After a day of complaints from those unfortunate enough to own 30GB Zunes, Microsoft finally issued an official response. It reads something like this: Uh… yeah… it should totally be fixed by tomorrow. Totally. Maybe.

Shame for anyone who planned on having music for a New Year’s celebration (see helpful illustration above, click to zoom).

P.S., yes, that comic represents how I picture software pirates. In ASCII boats.

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Well, I can’t sleep.

Instead, I’ve decided to replay every addicting Flash game I can think of in one sitting. Or at least, until I got bored enough to make a blog post. Which is what I’m doing. Hey, look, Devil Dogs.

Those were some good Devil Dogs. Heh, I just mistyped “dogs” and it came out “gods”. They’re not exactly the gods of food though. That’s more like sushi. Seriously. I got sushi at the mall the other day, and I said “thank you” to the guy in Chinese. And he was all like “ZOMG”, but he wasn’t “ZOMG” really because I don’t think they have a “ZOMG” in Chinese.

I really want sushi right now.

Except, if I had sushi, I’d try to eat it and fail. On account of it being dark, y’see, and I couldn’t aim for the stuff with chopsticks. I’d probably get that sauce stuff all over my new mac, too, and that would suck because I couldn’t use my computer OR enjoy the full extent of my sushi.

Never mind that though. I had a reason for writing this post, if only I could remember what it was.

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Text messaging has to be one of the most inefficient methods of communication developed since shouting. Texting consists either of repetitive button pressing, or “iTap” technology that continues to confuse “of” and “me”, “in” and “go”, and “good” and “home”. Then again, maybe I’m just embarrassed that my aunt can text faster than me.

Love it or hate it, it’s refreshing to know that as we continue to pour billions of dollars into developing new technology across the globe, we still manage to fuck up somewhere along the line now and again. Take this clip, for example.

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The most unintentionally hilarious conversation I’ve overheard takes place in a lawfirm, where I’m sure there are dozens of unintentionally hilarious conversations due to lawyers and legal secretaries being driven completely insane by the sheer tediousness and horrifying monotony of their jobs. Then again, my mother works for a lawfirm and knows I have this blog, so maybe I should just shut the hell up. Alternatively, I could just say: Hi Mom!

The conversation happened next to a copy machine, where two lawyers or other similarly socially doomed law-people stood clutching the fresh copies the machine had so willingly produced for them. Then they proceeded to talk about copying in general, and how much better copying machines were in the old days. Apparently, there was something nostalgic and altogether magical about the use of carbon paper, an experience current generations miss using modern-day copy machines.

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Happy Holidays, everyone!

Did you know that this Christmas…

Portal has officially warranted more replays than most other games I own. You might say I like the game, and you might be right. However, I don’t like it quite this much:

From an article on kotaku.com:

Back in May, Kotaku reader Robin emailed us to let us know about the Final Fantasy bar he and some friends hosted at Scrollbar in ITU of Copenhagen. Now they’ve moved on to Portal.

As with the Final Fantasy bar, the Scrollbar has quite a collection of themed drinks for the game of choice. My favorite of the bunch is the GLADOS, a wicked concoction that includes absinthe and Sourz Apple.

The Portal Bar kicked off in November, with the most popular drinks being the Sentry Gun and the Teleportation shot.

…oh dear God.

In other, less alcoholic news, it’s been too long since I took on a stupid project that’s doomed to not work. Now that I have a month off from school, it seems like the perfect time to pick something to do and fail spectacularly at it.
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This is now my wallpaper, for two reasons. Firstly, it symbolizes the fact that I’ve made it through my first ever semester of college alive. Secondly, it’s a great “what the fuck” reaction provoker for people who might glance at my desktop. If anyone ever cared to glance at my desktop. If anyone ever cared at all. If anyone ever existed. Yeah, sorry about that, you don’t exist. Really sorry. Someone had to tell you the news. Your parents would have told you, but they don’t exist either. Your priest would have told you, but your priest doesn’t exist, on account of your God never existing. Anyway, download some wallpaper – it most certainly does exist.

garfield-sijo-wallpaper

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