Contains videos to distract you from lack of content


Well, I can’t sleep.

Instead, I’ve decided to replay every addicting Flash game I can think of in one sitting. Or at least, until I got bored enough to make a blog post. Which is what I’m doing. Hey, look, Devil Dogs.

Those were some good Devil Dogs. Heh, I just mistyped “dogs” and it came out “gods”. They’re not exactly the gods of food though. That’s more like sushi. Seriously. I got sushi at the mall the other day, and I said “thank you” to the guy in Chinese. And he was all like “ZOMG”, but he wasn’t “ZOMG” really because I don’t think they have a “ZOMG” in Chinese.

I really want sushi right now.

Except, if I had sushi, I’d try to eat it and fail. On account of it being dark, y’see, and I couldn’t aim for the stuff with chopsticks. I’d probably get that sauce stuff all over my new mac, too, and that would suck because I couldn’t use my computer OR enjoy the full extent of my sushi.

Never mind that though. I had a reason for writing this post, if only I could remember what it was.

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Text messaging has to be one of the most inefficient methods of communication developed since shouting. Texting consists either of repetitive button pressing, or “iTap” technology that continues to confuse “of” and “me”, “in” and “go”, and “good” and “home”. Then again, maybe I’m just embarrassed that my aunt can text faster than me.

Love it or hate it, it’s refreshing to know that as we continue to pour billions of dollars into developing new technology across the globe, we still manage to fuck up somewhere along the line now and again. Take this clip, for example.

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A while ago I posted about a pretty badass calculator. Today I’ve come across a simultaneously more and less complex one.

It’s an 8-bit calculator from the PS3 game LittleBigPlanet (specifically the beta version) in which you can create your own worlds, or something like that. It’s one of those “You Gotta See This” games, and one that might possibly go against everything I believe in regarding video game design. I haven’t played it yet, but I’m certainly interested.

This video doesn’t look impressive at first. Then the second half blows your mind.
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Question: When is an Internet meme not an Internet meme?
Answer: When your father comes upstairs to wake you up, announcing that Rick Astley is on television rickrolling America.

I’ve slowly gotten used to seeing Internet memes in real life. For example, I have seen someone grab a pear at a dining hall and ask “LOL WUT?” There comes a time, though, when a meme transcends the Internet and stumbles into popular culture. I say “stumbles” because, by then, it’s practically a walking corpse.

I can’t help but wonder what it must be like to be the person who came up with the idea of rickrolling. Did they ever imagine that they’d indirectly be the cause of this?

Really, I don’t think rickrolling can get any bigger than that. That’s it, people. We’re done. We’ve hit the ceiling; there’s nowhere left to go. Pack up your cleverly disguised URLs and move along.

The Babbage difference engine is just one example of how awesome math used to look. Thinking of mathematicians in the old days, I get a mental picture of this half-blind man scribbling furiously on his five hundredth equation-riddled page of the evening, machines cranking away at hard sums in the background, with a T-shirt that reads “MATHEMATICIANS DO IT WITH INTEGRALS”. I’m not implying that math is any less awesome these days, it just puts on less of a show. You know, what with impossibly powerful processors and all.

It would be great just to have one of these in your room, though, so if someone wanders in with a difficult math problem you could say “Ooh, good question, hang on a second and let me calculate that,” and run over to your Babbage difference engine (No. 2). They’d be so impressed with all the turning shining things, they’d probably buy any answer you gave them. Because you’ve got a difference engine.

I wish I lived in the era of text-based adventure games. I’d have so much fun screwing with the player’s head.

> Climb stairs

You attempt to climb the stairs and fail miserably. Because while you were out doing things in real life, your character got mindlessly drunk waiting for you. You bastard!

> Get lamp

You’re not the boss of me.

> Explore west

While you walk west, your bladder explodes from not going to the bathroom when I suggested you should’ve.

I wish.

Oh, well. In the meantime, here’s a song about text adventures. Specifically, one named Zork. If you’re bored enough, you can play a parody version of Zork here.

An earworm is one of those annoying little buggers that crawl around in your brain repeating the same thing over and over again. Typically, the earworm tends to repeat part of a song, because earworms are musical like that.

I had an earworm the other day. I wasn’t quite sure where it came from, but it was mumbling something to me about “mo” and “yo”, and not the Spanish type “yo” either, no, it was one of those “yo'” as in “yo wuzzup” kind of yo’s. It wasn’t even a yo-yo; it was certainly a yo-apostrophe. Absolutely dead certain.

The mo seemed to have an apostrophe after it too. So it wasn’t like some guy’s name, like Mo. And it wasn’t a possessive apostrophe either, so it wasn’t like Mo’s, it was certainly mo-apostrophe-nothing-after-that.

It took me a long while, but finally the earworm revealed itself to me through some tricky Google searching. Bam!