I hereby propose a new sport for the Internet addict: Comment hunting.

What is comment hunting?

Comment hunting is exactly what it sounds like: You find a post that’s bound to attract lots of stupid comments. For example, take a look at this graph representing the number of people God and Satan have each killed in the Bible. It’s religious, so it’s got to be controversial. Bam, the stupid comments come pouring in.

Where can I find a good place to hunt for comments?

Anything controversial on the Internet will attract stupid people that feel the need to express “their” opinion. I say “their” in quotation marks because it really isn’t “their” opinion, it’s the opinion of a book they’ve read, a television show they saw, or even another Internet post they glanced at, chewed up and spit out again onto a comment form.

What’s the point, then?

The point of comment hunting is to hunt for the worst comment on the page. This can be due to spelling errors, blantantly ignoring the laws of physics, sentences that contradict themselves, or any newly developed form of stupidity.

Let’s take a look at an example.

Comment hunting in action

This is a list of the top 25 PlayStation 2 games, according to GameDaily.com. Unlike religion, which is a plain silly thing to fight about, the “top 25 PlayStation 2 games” is a subject that demands the attention of gamers across the globe. Rather unfortunately for most gamers, arguing via the Internet puts them at a serious disadvantage.

The PlayStation 2 controller has a total of eight buttons. A keyboard has over one hundred. The sheer concentration a regular PS2 gamer must put into operating all of these other buttons is unimaginable. Let us pity them.

Still, some of the more intelligent ones manage to argue their point fairly well.

Wow you RPG nerds need 2 git some realization on the world of video games everyone knows that GoW was the action game if even one of the best video games of the decade of 2000. […] if you were a scientist in the year 3000 n you wanted 2 check the gamedaily archives for the top 25 ps2 games of all time, would you want a game that diddnt really difine the true capabitly of the ps2. […] i have played every game oh n ratchet n clak owns Jak n daxter by far n i have only played the 1st ratchet n clak

Insightful, although the original post is a bit lengthy. Others have successfully communicated what they wanted to communicate in far fewer words.

jak and daxter?!?!?!?? Jak 2?!?!?!? Kingdom hearts?!?!?!??!? Kingdom hearts 2?!?!??!?!?!!? mortal kombat shaolin monks!?!?!?!???! Sly 2??!?!?!?!? Metal gear solid 2??!?!?!??!?! every ratchet and clank game?!!!?!?!?!!??!

Short sentences, indeed. Yet here is a man who has so much punctuation, he ought to donate some to the rest of the Internet that hasn’t learned what a comma is yet.

uhm hello…KINGDOM HEARTS ONE AND TWO come on everyone played those!!!!!!!!!!!

I like how there are no sports games on this list, just showing how the writer doesn’t like sports games. Neither do I, but Madden deserves to be here, as well as SSX Tricky and THPS3

and deckmaster ur retarted resident evil 4 should be higher and ur FFVII cmt make me sad knowing that some1 as dumb as u played the game

[…] Dude where have you been? Stuck in your room staring at GTA to really realize what games are the best? Some of your entries I can agree with. But others weren’t even worth my time.

On that last comment: LIAR!

Ironically, despite all of the utter whining going on in the comments, the list has an average user rating of 5/5 stars.

Incidentally, the list sucks. Hugely. But I’m not about to leave a comment. I’d feel weird using proper spelling and grammar amongst a herd of angry gamers.

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