The Internet is an amazing place to find stupid things on. The Pain Series. The Pain Olympics. Sites that claim they know the truth. Anything pro-McCain. As far as stupid thoughts go, though, nothing beats a good old blog.

…what are you giving me that look for?

Anyway, here’s a new one for you: This asshole thinks quotation marks should be used for emphasis. “Quotation” marks? For “emphasis”? We don’t use air quotes for emphasis. We use quotation marks to, I don’t know, quote, and sometimes suggest double meanings. For example:

I helped her “study” yesterday.
Without quotes: A sentence about someone helping a fellow human being with their studies.

With quotes: Sex.

Let me help you “peel” that “banana”.
Without quotes: An offer to assist with the consumption of fruit.

With quotes: Sex.

I saw the “greatest” “movie” the other day.
Without quotes: A sentence about movie going.

With quotes: A jab at the movie’s quality. Alternatively, sex.

Without quotes: A sad, pathetic attempt at conveying laughter across the Internet. Also a sign of lack of creativity and sincerity.

With quotes: A clever, sarcastic, witty parody of the Internet’s lack of creativity, or perhaps even the creativity of the joke just told. More than just an acronym, it is a statement. Probably only done to get attention, and, ultimately, sex.

None of these quotation marks mean emphasis, dipwad! The English language is convoluted enough as it is. If quotation marks were emphasis as well, how could we tell sarcasm from sincerity? What a “brilliant” “idea”.

For more reasons why this guy is stupid, click here. To exit the Internet, click here.