SOMETIMES, ON THE INTERNET, PEOPLE FORGET TO TURN OFF THEIR CAPS LOCK KEY. THIS IS AN HONEST MISTAKE THAT ANYONE CAN MAKE. HOWEVER, IT GIVES THEM THE IMPRESSION OF SHOUTING.

THIS IS PLAYING DICE, REMINDING YOU THAT JULY SIXTH IS INTERNATIONAL “CHECK YOUR CAPS LOCK KEY” DAY. HAVE YOU LEFT YOUR CAPS LOCK ON FOR THE PAST YEAR AND NOT NOTICED IT?

SYMPTOMS OF THIS PROBLEM MAY INCLUDE:

  • LOOKING LIKE MORE OF AN ASSHOLE THAN USUAL. CAPS LOCK TAKES A MAGNIFYING GLASS TO THE ASSHOLE INSIDE YOU. (YES EVEN YOU, YOU GOODY-TWO-SHOES BRAT. BY THE WAY, NOBODY LIKES YOU ANYWAY.)
  • STRAINED KEYBOARD. IS YOUR KEYBOARD SORE? MAYBE THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN SHOUTING ON IT ALL THE DAMN TIME!
  • RUNNING OUT OF CAPITAL LETTERS MORE QUICKLY THAN USUAL. IF YOU FIND YOURSELF LACKING CAPITAL LETTERS, IT’S BECAUSE YOU’VE USED THEM ALL UP ALREADY. IDIOT.
  • CAPS LOCK LIGHT ON. OBVIOUSLY, YOU DIMWIT.

SO PLEASE, REMEMBER TO CHECK YOUR CAPS LOCK TOMORROW.

CAPS LOCK FACT OF THE DAY: TYPING IN ALLCAPS WILL NOT HELP A BLIND PERSON HEAR YOU. TYPING IN FONT SIZE 30 OR MORE, HOWEVER, WILL.